I'm just saying. I am an intelligent funny creative - oh look there's a donut - woman who had lost the same 10 pounds at least a gazillion time. I have been through every program every invented. Oh look there's some ice cream. I have learned many things from many of them. About life. I have been hypnotized, done the spa thing, the in patient thing, the OA thing etc... etc... I have never been able to lose weight and keep it off. Don't tell me about a lifestyle change. I like my lifestyle. I just don't like being fat!! I want to eat everything I want when I want to eat it and still be thin. Doesn't work that way.
My husband bought me a size 4 sweater I liked because i asked him to - said I would lose all the weight in no time. That was 30 years ago. When he died I gave the sweater away. I didn't even like it any more.
Now it's important that I make changes for health reasons too. After a while sugar and fat and all that good stuff isn't as easy to handle as it used to be. I have a granddaughter I'd like to be able to keep up with.
I wrtite a blog on grief at griefspeaksout.com and I thought - what the hell. I'll start writing a blog on food. Eating it - not eating it. Being healthy. Being happy. Are they really the same thing?
Please don't give me advice. I've heard it all. Where are the Napoleons? It's like a tic. I live in New York City. I have to say "NO!!!" seventeen times on every block. Sometimes 24 hours a day.
What do I feel better if I give up. I feel better if I give up sugar, dairy, caffeine, and gluten. I call them the lovely uglies. Do I feel better? You bet I do. The joints don't hurt. I have more energy. The face is less puffy. Do I miss them? You bet I do. Do I have respect for people who stick to a program. An incredible amount of respect. If I was a heroin addict I'd be dead. Instead I'm just fat. Which is not bad. Just fat. There shouldn't be a war on obesity - the goal is to be fit - not to be thin. When I see someone who weighs more than I do - I say there but for the grace of something goes I.
A woman on a plane departing Paris (France, not Texas) once leaned over and said, "You have such a beautiful face - did you ever think about losing weight?" She was serious. And rude. Every minute of every day - except when I'm saying fuck it and eating S'mores ice cream with a cookie spoon.
So there you see my problem. Here's my priority...my motivation...my plan. Sometimes the PEEPS just win. It's like I keep mentioning them so you get the first measure of the problem in this first blog post.
However, today has - until this point in time - 5 p.m. - been a healthy eating day. Can I keep it up until I go to sleep? More shall be revealed. With love. xo
